Because someone had to say it. At last, the shirt that's been classified for decades has finally been declassified — and it's 100% cotton.
Perfect for the conspiracy theorist in your life who has done way too much reading at 3am, the history buff who asks uncomfortable questions at Thanksgiving, or the guy at the gym who won't stop talking about Oliver North while doing bicep curls.
Wear it to your next government job interview and really make an impression. Flash it at airport security for an exciting new travel experience. Or simply let it do the talking at your next neighborhood watch meeting, where you will immediately become both the most popular and least popular person in the room.
Features:
100% cotton, 100% plausible deniability
Wrinkle-resistant — just like the official story
Available in "Black Budget Black," "Redacted Grey," and "Panama Papers White"
Comes with no warranty, no receipt, and absolutely no paper trail
Pocket version available — for classified items only
Fits true to size, unlike congressional testimony
Pairs well with: A tin foil hat, a dog-eared copy of Dark Alliance, suspicious neighbors, and the unshakeable feeling that you're being watched.
